i wasn’t sure where to put this, so i put it here, sorry Mods.
how do you address a member of the nobility when they email you asking for an emblazonment of their arms and start it off very formally, "Dear Sir…"
i don’t want to make an a** (my edit) of myself and address him wrong. do i say "Mr. ..." or "Visconde ..." or what? am i allowed to just say "John, ..." (no that’s not his name just an example) since he signed his name informally, but addressed me formally?
i just have no clue how to do this right, so i could use some help there. thanx in advance. my gut tells me be formal until he says not to, but i dunno.
p.s. i know i can’t/shouldn’t use ‘IMing’ or "lazy" writing in dealing with him…already know that much. 
The introductory address of a Spanish viscount whom you have never met:
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Illustrisimo Señor Don
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Followed by the given names and surnames ‘,’ followed by the title. Here is the address in its abbreviated, more commonly used form:
<b></b>
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Illmo. Sr. D.
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I agree with David 100%.
In my limited experience with foreign correspondence, I found I have not yet offended when I used "Illmo. Sr." to address a Spanish gentleman with whom I was not yet on familiar terms; similarly "Excmo. Sr." in Portuguese and "Egregio Signore" in Italian.
Chris
Chris W.;57162 wrote:
similarly "Excmo. Sr." in Portuguese
Most Excellent Mister - used with the higher ranks (marquês and above) of the Portuguese nobility, high ranking members of the Portuguese Government and high ranking members of the Portuguese Royal Household.
OK. Thanks fellas. So I’ll definitely keep things formal unless they say not to. He seemed nice, but very formal so I thought I might need to be as well.
Is this the standard for all such people? You deal with them in a formal manner until they say not to? Or do you do it like with other folks you meet formally at first and then after that use their first name?
Donnchadh;57166 wrote:
You deal with them in a formal manner until they say not to?
Yes and some may never speak with you informally.
Always better to err on the side of caution until instructed to do otherwise. However, don’t lose sight of the fact that much of the "formalism" in the letter could be due to his learning "formal" English as opposed to "colloquial" English. Could be a very "down-to-earth" chap, but you won’t really know that until you get to know him better.
The introductory address of a Spanish title, without grandee is:
Ilustrísimo Señor don
Followed by the given names and surnames ‘,’ followed by the title.
Abbreviated:
Ilmo. Sr. D.
The introductory address of a Spanish title, with grandee is:
Excelentísimo Señor don
Followed by the given names and surnames ‘,’ followed by the title.
Abbreviated:
Excmo. Sr. D.
E.G.
Excelentísimo Señor don Sabino Fernández Campo, duque de Latores.
Jose,
Thank you for the additional information about a titled noble with the grandeza, I had fogotten to ask Dennis if the visconde was also a Grandee of Spain.
In my experience, Europeans are still pretty formal. Even collegues at work (in an office situation) address each other formally by Mr. and Last Name, even after having worked at the same place for decades.
Between 1980 and 2005 I have lived in the US, Florida, Texas and New York, where I pretty much got used to a rather informal way of communicating. Back in Europe, I quickly had to unlearn some of my American ways and revert back to formality.
For a foreigner to mess up and to be informal can be forgiven, since he/she doesn’t know any better. To do the same as a European is simply not acceptable.
To make a long story short: Keep on with the formalities until told explicitly not to do it anymore.
Or you could go with the much less formal "Yo! Dukie baby!" But I think you should save that one until you know each other better.
dr.h.roth;57186 wrote:
In my experience, Europeans are still pretty formal. Even collegues at work (in an office situation) address each other formally by Mr. and Last Name, even after having worked at the same place for decades.
Between 1980 and 2005 I have lived in the US, Florida, Texas and New York, where I pretty much got used to a rather informal way of communicating. Back in Europe, I quickly had to unlearn some of my American ways and revert back to formality.
For a foreigner to mess up and to be informal can be forgiven, since he/she doesn’t know any better. To do the same as a European is simply not acceptable.
To make a long story short: Keep on with the formalities until told explicitly not to do it anymore.
That may hold true in most of Europe, here in Sweden we are rather informal adressing each other by first name. That is unless you happen to be adressing HM the King or other members of the royal family then you use their titles. But this system is quite young and before the 1960ies also Sweden was rather formal it was herr (mr), fru (mrs), fröken (miss) or a title (which also spilled over to the wife so a woman married to a General could be adressed as Generalskan X).
Very cool fellas. Thank you. I am keeping it formal. Thanks.
dr.h.roth;57186 wrote:
In my experience, Europeans are still pretty formal. Even collegues at work (in an office situation) address each other formally by Mr. and Last Name, even after having worked at the same place for decades.
This is not the case in the Netherlands everybody adresses each other by their first name at work. The more formal approach only comes along when speaking to someone higher in the organisation and then alone if you are strangers to one and other. Someone has said that the Netherlands are a republic with a monarch as its head of state , so that may be the reason for the informal approach these days it used to be more formal until the 70’s.
David Pritchard;57164 wrote:
Most Excellent Mister - used with the higher ranks (marquês and above) of the Portuguese nobility, high ranking members of the Portuguese Government and high ranking members of the Portuguese Royal Household.
David,
I have received letters addressed to me as "Excmo. Sr." by several different senders (two private citizens and firm in Lisbon) who would have no reason to believe I am any of these things; additionally, there are Portuguese grammar guides on the internet that suggest this as a proper form of address when one wants to be very formal. I think maybe usage of Excellentissimo Senhor may have expanded, in practice?
Denny,
It is almost always better to be too formal than to be too informal.
Chris
This IMO excessive formality doesn’t sit well with me (not that I’ve had much occasion to use it!). I would think that if we use formal English (formal American English, that is) that should be sufficient. Nothing overly familiar—I understand the limits of "tutear" (if I’ve spelled it correctly)—but I’d much rather address a letter to "Dear Sir:" than trip over myself to get the right foreign honorific, and likely muffing it.